untitled (a blue light calls)
2:47:25
hi-8 digital transfer, documentation of performance
2022



I grasped at strings
I needed things
You sea bream, soaked to the seam
Entitled dream where I thought I saw your face
Awake to the taste of metabolic waste land
Your ooze, your space

I fell between the ladder and the window
The enthralling call of three widows
Suspense you held in your palm,
The fronds I long to belong in psalm
So hold me here, dear
Absolve my fears

To cry is fear
To spend four years
Unclear to why I die
Every time i
Lie and lie and lie

Disappointment involved
In time based city scape
Effervescent dance hall
A blue light calls
I wish to imply them all

Slept away,
No time today
The pace of erasure
Of sideways glances, insature

The face of them all
Blood red, silent shawl
I made a game to cleanse my brain
Ignore the pain, ignore the pain


You’re dashing, really
But there’s somewhere we both have to be
Prioritize me
Watch me sink beneath thee
But I can never say no
Silhouette on the payphone
Child on the line
Disruption in the find
But there’s one last place I want you t o visit
And I couldn’t tell you how to get there
It sits on my tongue and I can’t not taste it
Your putrid stare
Looking down on me
Pitying me
Maybe

Lizzy waits
Directs, more so
I wonder if she recognizes me
If she will one day
Or if she could have yesterday
Said nothing to me
There’s no reason
I wouldn’t respond
You never do

Ecstatic blue
Heavy set hue
Incongruous shoe
Slip it on and if it fits
You’re the princess
Cut at the ankle to make sure you’re free
The burden is me

And I’m your dog
Secure my collar
I never wanted this leash
You crumble into a heap
Of dirty dishes
But I’m the laundry
Not the sink

Can you not think
Of anyone but me


Dance on my skin
Bless every nerve ending
Every taste bud
Dreading some far away
Sight-unseen dream
You’d analyze after sleep

You contrite contrarian
Obtuse librarian
Hold the knowledge of every moment of my past
That hasn’t happened yet
But make me think it has

Delicate starvation
Restrain, order
Simultaneous extraneous
Rhythm of each wrist

And there it comes again

Sweet
I’ve known it before
The source unknown
Or maybe all else has grown
From this very stem

I’ll miss you before you’re gone
And I’ll be gone before the thought of you has drawn
Out of sight
Out of mind

Don’t wake me this time
Supplement my every effervescent inclination into seamless dream weavers
Pumpkin eaters
Soul trash
Without any way to make this moment last
Pull me into the hallway
Hold me in your hand
Invent a new way to communicate
Manipulate

Insatiate me,
Please

Inferno in the car with your father
I wonder what ring of hell you’ll find me in
Or that He expects to find me in
I wonder if I’ll see him

Console me in costume
But you forgot your shoes
Rest your legs on mine,
Find solace in my mind

But what’s mine is not mine
At least not for you
Just a reflection of hometown fever-dream blues
It was always me more than you

But look at you
I wish I could
I wish I knew
Unsure if I can say I ever loved you

Pure comedy
That every day I’m muddled by thoughts of you
That I’m plagued from the loss of you
It was supposed to hurt for me less than you

Without any way to make this moment last
Soul trash
Pumpkin eaters
Try to find peace in some passive distraction
Like I used to do
But nothing works for me
Does it for you?








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